Do Men Value Virginity Anymore?

By Andy Erdman writen at IVillage.

I can understand a woman being sincerely committed to the idea of not sleeping with a man unless she's engaged to be married. Really, I can respect that. (Though I personally don't think it's a good idea; imagine refusing to drive until a Maserati came along!)

Of course no one should settle for Mr. Okay with a smooth line. But that doesn't mean you should shy away from every guy who doesn't instantly proffer a marriage proposal. My advice to women who aren't sure if they should hold out or not: Find someone in whom you're adequately interested and get to know him. If you like him, and he likes you, things will more or less take care of themselves -- i.e., devirgination, ring giving, etc. I'm sure there's more than one Mr. Right out there, but you have to familiarize yourself with the crop in order to sort the proverbial wheat from the proverbial sleazebags.

As for whether a man would appreciate your remarkable self-control, I'm -- get ready for this -- not sure it really matters. Sure, some guy might think it's swell that you're a virgin, but he may think so for all the wrong reasons (e.g., archaic notions of "owning" one's woman, etc.).

If you're curious about and desirous of the act of nook-nook, then find someone you like and feel comfortable with, and get down. Don't worry so much about what the future Mr. Right or Mr. Okay might think. Your virginity is not a prize to present to someone else; it's yours to manage in your own best interest.

Andy Erdman is a journalist and television writer. He also has a Ph.D. in theatre and has taught at the college level. He has never worked as a topless dancer.