Choo choo train

I wake up at 6am in the morning, queue up at the train station to get to work. I start working facing bosses, jerks and bitches after 8am.

It sucks when I meet my boss at the train station.

I saw my boss walking towards the station so I quicken my steps to he won't catch up and see me. Sadly the train left just when I stepped on to the platform. I knew my boss saw me then, and he purposely queued behind of me. He tapped my shoulders and begin to make conversation.

ARGHHHH I have to start "pretending" at 7am in the morning. ....*&%&*(%^$

I like to start my day alone, listening to my music on my ear phones that are plugged deep into my ears almost reaching my ear drums out casting all sound waves. Having a comfortable seat at the end of the train. Bags on my lap, and book in my hands.

Why do I always see my boss at the train station?

Poh Ma

Aiyorrrr I really can't stand it.

She was one who suggested we go on a holiday.
We are the ones who set the date.
He was the one who set flight time.

But when I want to place the booking, it takes them forever to give me their details!

So "poh ma!"

Honestly, if they weren't this close to me... I would have bombarded them already.

dreading Valentines day

Lover's Valentines day is around the corner...

This is one of those days when I really don't want to go out. Seeing a whole lot bunch of couples here and there.

To the left, some couple cuddling.
To the right, holding hands.
To the front, some couple kissing.

I look at myself. Still the "single, want to date, but don't dare".

I have never celebrated Valentines day with the opposite sex before. Some how I keep on rejecting dates, fearing that I will have a dreadful time. I don't really know how to express myself to someone I don't have feelings for on a Lovers day. I just feel odd looking at couples and be being not a couple.

And "don't waste your money on roses on that day" ... I don't think I really mean it. I mean if you can afford it, why not. Hehehe flowers are nice to have. Even a single sweet red rose is nice.

I'm by default, evil

So, it's me again. After many incidents of being too "googleable", I have decided to blog my shit here again. It's just hard to be myself, its hard to tell the truth, its hard to take care of everyone's feelings.

I just want to curse you behind your back.
I just want to bitch about life.
I just want to whine about the smallest thing.
I just want to be selfish.
I just want to be sensitive.

I just was to say things with out any consequences.

I'm no innocent. I'm not kind. I'm not nice. I was just pretending. It was acting.
I evil at heart. I'm by default, evil.

FUCKING HUGE EGO

She's the bitch. And now when I dare challenge her FUCKING HUGE EGO, she's a REAL BITCH.

You know what, I actually wished that we had a more heated and longer argument. Then I would have vent all my anger, frustration and tell her that I can no longer stand her FUCKING EGO.

I don't really care right now of "I can't do that because I would be disrespecting her" because I don't even get a bit of respect from her.

Everything she say and do is always right just because she says so. Whatever that she forgets is "No, when did I say that? I think you have a problem". No, YOU have a problem. A VERY HUGE ATTIDUDE PROBLEM. And I'm sorry, I don't want to pretend that I'm stupid and bow down to you anymore.

So come blame every single small shit on me because I will fight back. I will say my rights. I will defend myself. Can't stand me? Too bad. Come bitch slap me if you want to. That will only give me another strong excuse to move out.

I'm sorry, I love you, but I really fucking hate you.

You really have to learn to piss off

What?!... so now I'm suppose to be a 'closer' friend just because you got me an expensive gift for my birthday?

Seriously, I didn't ask for anything from you. It's you who got all excited and bugged my best friends for my birthday plans and ideas on what to get me. I really thank you for the gift but seriously... I think you should take a hike because nothing is going to change.

#1. You were annoying, and you are still annoying me.
#2. You are not funny, so please try not to make pretend to be funny because I don't know how long I can pretend to laugh.
#3. I don't care if you are boyfriend material or what ever. I don't need\want one.
#4. I don't care if you can buy me expensive gifts, just don't expect me to fall head over heel over your materials.
#5. Get the hint for god's sake. You are disturbing when I work. Can't you see it in my face that I dislike talking to you? I hate to tell you to BUSS OFF every single time.
#6. You are in my negative zone, and I don't think there's anything you can do to not be in that zone for now. I really don't like you... thought you think other wise. I'm just putting up a face in the office because I have to. Everyone is superficial. Are you really that dumb?

And come one... don't invite yourself to my outing with my friends. Who cares if you know them... I really don't what you to be there, neither do my friends.

When someone says something, please don't insist that they are wrong. I really didn't want and did not celebrate my birthday. Don't give my friends a hard time and insist that I did celebrate my birthday. And even if I did, HELL you think you will be invited?

You really have to learn to piss off.

Go stuff your ego some where else

I know something is going on... but WHAT the F is it?!

I'm so sick of this already. I'm tired of acting like I'm ok. I'm tired of lying to myself. I'm sick. I'm very sick. But who the hell cares? Everyone is too busy and too insensitive to notice.

I'm tired to open my ear when I know I don't give a shit about what you are saying because I have got problems of my own. I'm tired of being our punching bag when your stress ball rolls off to some where. I'm tired of being your old socks. I'm tired of being your back up plan.

Go stuff your ego some where else. I can't stand it anymore!