Author: Unknown
Guys, men, boys they all mean the same to a certain extend. Then, there are some who are suitable to be, just friends with. I call them the buddy type. They shop, gossip and watch movies with you. We talk about our men with them and they would totally listen and comment accordingly. I'm sure you have some guy friends like that.
It's cool to have men as your best buddies simply because they have a whole different perceptive of everything. Not to say that girl friends are not cool - don't get me wrong. It's just that men rationalize and look at things from a different angle. It's good to look at things from both side of the coin, isn't it?
Plus, it's logical to get advice about men from a man. It's rather refreshing sometimes.
If they are so cool and understanding, then how come he's just a friend? He's not gay either. Ha ha ha, this is the tricky bit. Some men, we are just not attracted to "that way". No chemistry and no butterfly in your stomach feeling kind of man. No
sexual attraction and no physical tension. Funny, but I can't explain it myself.
Now, here comes the type of man who gives you all the above kind of feeling. It's the boyfriend material. How would you know? Well I always believe in a woman's instincts. It's very powerful, so use it! These are the men whom you would do anything for. He makes you feel special because there is some unexplainable connection between you and him. There's love.
The major difference between a male buddy and a boyfriend is that, boyfriends can make you feel jealous for no substantial reason. Caught him looking at another girl and you would throw tantrum, but if your male buddy does that, you would be totally supportive about it.
There is also another type, I call it The Faade - you both are just friends but deep inside, you are actually "mad" about him but have no guts what so ever to confess. This is the toughest category. Confess and risk losing a friend? Conceal and have
your heart broken every time he talks about another girl he fancies? Both ways you lose.
If you are the bold type, I would say confess. At least you will feel relieved knowing that he knows, on top of that, the ball is now in his court. If he doesn't feel the same about you, at least you know it for sure. I strongly suggest you move on with your life after the awkward confession session. Look up, be strong and move on, girls. On the contrary, I would personally avoid this option - I'll totally chicken out.
So, which type of men do you have in your life? The buddy? The boyfriend? or the faade? It's difficult to categorize them in this manner because some of them can be a mixture of almost everything, creating an unidentified hybrid. But one thing's for sure -our relationship and interaction with men is inevitable. Who and what type of friendship you wish to establish with them, is completely entirely up to you - as long as you know where to draw the line.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Malaysia Not Always Boleh
Not Always Boleh
by Marina Mahathir (If you didn't already know, she Dr.Mahathir's daugther)
AS we reach our 46th birthday and cries of "Malaysia Boleh" ring out,we should really reflect on this a bit. I am one of those who always find these constant shouts of "Malaysia Boleh" a bit tiresome.
Not to be a spoilsport or anything, it's just that sometimes our focus on what we boleh (can) seems rather shallow.
I have great admiration for Malaysians who can sail solo around
the world, climb Everest, explore Antarctica and brave the English
Channel. These are truly great feats and the glory achieved by them reflects on us, and motivates others to try and do similar things.
What I have some problem with are the types of Malaysia Boleh feats that have to do with creating the longest popiah, the most number of teh tarik pulls, the most number of sticks of satay eaten, etc. No
doubt everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame, but after that,...what?
Will the person who ate the most number of durians ever be featured in Hari Ini dalam Sejarah?
As we all scramble to get into some book of records for things we boleh do, I wonder if we ever reflect on the things we tak boleh (cannot) do? Here is a partial list, in no particular order:
We tak boleh talk about many things because they are deemed too sensitive for some unknown people's ears. Thus, there are so many things swept under the carpet now that we can hardly walk without tripping.
We tak boleh complain about how some people in authority behave.
We tak boleh show affection to our loved ones in public because some people think it's obscene.
The women among us tak boleh feel safe in public because if something happens to us, it's always our fault.
We tak boleh be trusted to decide for ourselves whether a movie is good or bad.
We women tak boleh look at pictures of women's bodies in women's magazines; they have to be blacked out.
Young people tak boleh be given information about the many bad things that could happen to them even though this could save their lives.
Universities tak boleh be left with more women students because this
may lead to a very empowered population of women. And what's more
they may start demanding that women be given vice-chancellor posts!
We tak boleh ask why the authorities have some ruling or other because then they may actually have to think of a good reason for them.
We tak boleh, tak boleh, tak boleh talk about religion even though sometimes the implementation of religious rulings can make our lives miserable.
We tak boleh complain when cars are triple parked on Fridays because, hey, what is a human law when they're breaking it to commune with God?
We tak boleh be sure anything we do will be judged on its own merits; we must get some VIP to help us.
We tak boleh excel in many things, including sports, because someone will tell us why we tak boleh do it (too difficult, not nice, not feminine, too much work, no money in it, etc).
We tak boleh point out the contradictions in our society because it's, well, embarrassing (like, how come we're so religious and so superstitious at the same time?).
We tak boleh teach our kids to think because then they may ask us too many questions.
We tak boleh act as if we would like to think about things too, and then give our opinion.
We tak boleh trust our young people even though one day, whether we like it or not, they will take over the country (unless we turn them into clones of us of course).
We tak boleh deny the fact that Siti Nurhaliza is a lot more influential than most politicians (who else can sell out a lipstick by just mentioning it?). But then Siti tak boleh make our lives miserable.
We tak boleh talk back, unless we couch it in polite terms. Never mind that the person we want to talk back to has been very rude.
Every day it seems we are encouraged to do things to prove we are the best, biggest, brightest. But rarely are we ever encouraged to be thinking and compassionate human beings with opinions of our own, especially if those opinions are different from the norm. Are we to show Malaysia Boleh only in harmless non-threatening ways even though these often have no long-term benefit? Or should we really be challenging ourselves in our minds and hearts?
by Marina Mahathir (If you didn't already know, she Dr.Mahathir's daugther)
AS we reach our 46th birthday and cries of "Malaysia Boleh" ring out,we should really reflect on this a bit. I am one of those who always find these constant shouts of "Malaysia Boleh" a bit tiresome.
Not to be a spoilsport or anything, it's just that sometimes our focus on what we boleh (can) seems rather shallow.
I have great admiration for Malaysians who can sail solo around
the world, climb Everest, explore Antarctica and brave the English
Channel. These are truly great feats and the glory achieved by them reflects on us, and motivates others to try and do similar things.
What I have some problem with are the types of Malaysia Boleh feats that have to do with creating the longest popiah, the most number of teh tarik pulls, the most number of sticks of satay eaten, etc. No
doubt everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame, but after that,...what?
Will the person who ate the most number of durians ever be featured in Hari Ini dalam Sejarah?
As we all scramble to get into some book of records for things we boleh do, I wonder if we ever reflect on the things we tak boleh (cannot) do? Here is a partial list, in no particular order:
We tak boleh talk about many things because they are deemed too sensitive for some unknown people's ears. Thus, there are so many things swept under the carpet now that we can hardly walk without tripping.
We tak boleh complain about how some people in authority behave.
We tak boleh show affection to our loved ones in public because some people think it's obscene.
The women among us tak boleh feel safe in public because if something happens to us, it's always our fault.
We tak boleh be trusted to decide for ourselves whether a movie is good or bad.
We women tak boleh look at pictures of women's bodies in women's magazines; they have to be blacked out.
Young people tak boleh be given information about the many bad things that could happen to them even though this could save their lives.
Universities tak boleh be left with more women students because this
may lead to a very empowered population of women. And what's more
they may start demanding that women be given vice-chancellor posts!
We tak boleh ask why the authorities have some ruling or other because then they may actually have to think of a good reason for them.
We tak boleh, tak boleh, tak boleh talk about religion even though sometimes the implementation of religious rulings can make our lives miserable.
We tak boleh complain when cars are triple parked on Fridays because, hey, what is a human law when they're breaking it to commune with God?
We tak boleh be sure anything we do will be judged on its own merits; we must get some VIP to help us.
We tak boleh excel in many things, including sports, because someone will tell us why we tak boleh do it (too difficult, not nice, not feminine, too much work, no money in it, etc).
We tak boleh point out the contradictions in our society because it's, well, embarrassing (like, how come we're so religious and so superstitious at the same time?).
We tak boleh teach our kids to think because then they may ask us too many questions.
We tak boleh act as if we would like to think about things too, and then give our opinion.
We tak boleh trust our young people even though one day, whether we like it or not, they will take over the country (unless we turn them into clones of us of course).
We tak boleh deny the fact that Siti Nurhaliza is a lot more influential than most politicians (who else can sell out a lipstick by just mentioning it?). But then Siti tak boleh make our lives miserable.
We tak boleh talk back, unless we couch it in polite terms. Never mind that the person we want to talk back to has been very rude.
Every day it seems we are encouraged to do things to prove we are the best, biggest, brightest. But rarely are we ever encouraged to be thinking and compassionate human beings with opinions of our own, especially if those opinions are different from the norm. Are we to show Malaysia Boleh only in harmless non-threatening ways even though these often have no long-term benefit? Or should we really be challenging ourselves in our minds and hearts?
Sunday, May 15, 2005
If your girlfriend has left you for another guy
Got something thru email again that I found quite interesting. As a female, i quite agree with what this guy gave to say.
1) If your girlfriend has left you for another guy, don't blame the other guy for stealing her. It's YOUR own fault for losing her. If she was REALLY attracted to you, NOBODY could have stolen her away from you.
2) If women always keep saying you are a "friend", don't whine about it. It's YOUR own fault for not developing any chemistry with women.
3) If you never go out and meet women, then don't complain about not having a girlfriend. It's your own fault for not expanding your social circle.
4) If you can't hold a conversation, don't whine about your shyness. PRACTICE your conversation skills.
5) If you don't know how to attract women, then LEARN.
1) If your girlfriend has left you for another guy, don't blame the other guy for stealing her. It's YOUR own fault for losing her. If she was REALLY attracted to you, NOBODY could have stolen her away from you.
2) If women always keep saying you are a "friend", don't whine about it. It's YOUR own fault for not developing any chemistry with women.
3) If you never go out and meet women, then don't complain about not having a girlfriend. It's your own fault for not expanding your social circle.
4) If you can't hold a conversation, don't whine about your shyness. PRACTICE your conversation skills.
5) If you don't know how to attract women, then LEARN.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Discover The Power of Forgiveness
Note: All the below are not writen by me. I got this in a pdf file with no author name on it. Do let me know if you know who wrote this.
What do you do when somebody hurts you? Do you want to hurt him back or do you hold it against that person for the rest of your life? If you answer yes to these questions, know that you are like most people.
To forgive is something that is alien to most people. Why don't people forgive readily?
Here's why, because it is easier to hate than to forgive. Some people think to forgive is a sign of weakness, but let me tell you, it is not. To forgive takes courage and extra effort.
What is forgiveness? It is a gift from a generous heart. Forgiveness is not a reward. It is not something that you give to someone based on his good behavior. It is something that you give to a person irrespective of whether he has deserved it or
not. Forgiveness is also not based on whether the person has asked for forgiveness.
Also know this. Forgiveness is not an event, which starts and concludes when you say the words, "I forgive you". Forgiveness is an act and a process, which often takes time. The deeper your hurt the longer it usually takes to completely forgive. It is an act because it is not just the words you say but it is your actions which will show if you've really forgiven.
A fine example of someone who embodies true forgiveness is former South African president Nelson Mandela. Mandela was imprisoned by the former all white South African government for 27 years. Upon his release Mandela surprised the whole world when he showed no bitterness towards his jailers. That is truly remarkable.
Why is it necessary to forgive? Forgiveness releases you from the burden of bitterness and hate. It takes enormous energy to hate and to keep that hate in place. Forgiveness brings freedom whereas revenge is neither sweet nor gratifying, its just a hollow feeling. Hate puts unnecessary stress on your body.
It is a well-known fact, proven by numerous studies, that bitterness and hate can actually make you sick. A great number of people in the world don't really belong in a hospital, because the root of their problem is not physical but is mental. The moment they forgive and let go of their hate they will start to get well.
There is another reason why you need to forgive. If you don't forgive you actually prevent blessings from flowing to you. The Bible says that before you pray for anything first forgive those who wronged you, and then your Father in heaven will forgive you your wrongs.
So there you can see that blessings are closely connected to your forgiving others. I have personal experience of this. I used to be very cynical about life and didn't forgive easily. At the time I also struggled in every area of my life. Things just didn't seem to work out for me. It is as if everything that could go wrong; always went wrong. That was until somebody told me to take a look at my attitude.
And when I forgave those who wronged me and changed my attitude, everything else changed. It didn't happen overnight. It took a while, but I could see and feel the difference.
Now you may ask how do you know when you've really forgiven someone? Here's the key.
If after you've forgiven that person you still experience negative sting whenever you think of him or her, it means you still have work to do. If however you don't have negative feelings towards that person it means you are free.
Are things not working out in your life, despite you are doing all the "right" things? Is it possible that you have un-forgiveness in your heart? It is certainly something to think about!
What do you do when somebody hurts you? Do you want to hurt him back or do you hold it against that person for the rest of your life? If you answer yes to these questions, know that you are like most people.
To forgive is something that is alien to most people. Why don't people forgive readily?
Here's why, because it is easier to hate than to forgive. Some people think to forgive is a sign of weakness, but let me tell you, it is not. To forgive takes courage and extra effort.
What is forgiveness? It is a gift from a generous heart. Forgiveness is not a reward. It is not something that you give to someone based on his good behavior. It is something that you give to a person irrespective of whether he has deserved it or
not. Forgiveness is also not based on whether the person has asked for forgiveness.
Also know this. Forgiveness is not an event, which starts and concludes when you say the words, "I forgive you". Forgiveness is an act and a process, which often takes time. The deeper your hurt the longer it usually takes to completely forgive. It is an act because it is not just the words you say but it is your actions which will show if you've really forgiven.
A fine example of someone who embodies true forgiveness is former South African president Nelson Mandela. Mandela was imprisoned by the former all white South African government for 27 years. Upon his release Mandela surprised the whole world when he showed no bitterness towards his jailers. That is truly remarkable.
Why is it necessary to forgive? Forgiveness releases you from the burden of bitterness and hate. It takes enormous energy to hate and to keep that hate in place. Forgiveness brings freedom whereas revenge is neither sweet nor gratifying, its just a hollow feeling. Hate puts unnecessary stress on your body.
It is a well-known fact, proven by numerous studies, that bitterness and hate can actually make you sick. A great number of people in the world don't really belong in a hospital, because the root of their problem is not physical but is mental. The moment they forgive and let go of their hate they will start to get well.
There is another reason why you need to forgive. If you don't forgive you actually prevent blessings from flowing to you. The Bible says that before you pray for anything first forgive those who wronged you, and then your Father in heaven will forgive you your wrongs.
So there you can see that blessings are closely connected to your forgiving others. I have personal experience of this. I used to be very cynical about life and didn't forgive easily. At the time I also struggled in every area of my life. Things just didn't seem to work out for me. It is as if everything that could go wrong; always went wrong. That was until somebody told me to take a look at my attitude.
And when I forgave those who wronged me and changed my attitude, everything else changed. It didn't happen overnight. It took a while, but I could see and feel the difference.
Now you may ask how do you know when you've really forgiven someone? Here's the key.
If after you've forgiven that person you still experience negative sting whenever you think of him or her, it means you still have work to do. If however you don't have negative feelings towards that person it means you are free.
Are things not working out in your life, despite you are doing all the "right" things? Is it possible that you have un-forgiveness in your heart? It is certainly something to think about!
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
he can't let go of her
You know, it's so ironic. One of my close buddies' rang me up in last night
to have a heart to heart talk. He broke up with his (at that time) girlfriend for about 3 months already. The problem is, he can't let go of her.
He really reminded me of my ex. You see, we were once so close. We know of each others doings, actions and plans every god damn single day. We talk to each other without fail every bloody night before we actually go to sleep. We do things together, go on holidays together, have luncheons and dinner together and all the other stuff a normal couple would do. But then suddenly all this changes when we broke up.
No more nightly 'obligation' to call your other half. No need to 'report to the headmaster' (headmaster here refers to your other half) every action you are planning to do. No need to think of how your other half would feel if you wanted to hang out alone or with your own friends without his presence. Don't need to sacrifice time to teach your idiotic other half his work and definitely don't have to take any more responsibility of his stupidity and failure. Don't you feel much better with all that burden off your shoulders? It's no wonder why it didn't take me long to get on with my sweet life.
The big question is "Why can't your ex(es) do the same?" I don't thinkI a good girlfriend after all.
Anyway, I don't think my buddy and my ex understand the meaning of a "breakup". I know were all very close to our other half during the relationship, but why can't they understand that it's over.
Sometimes they would just give really lame excuses like "we are not a couple anymore but we are still friends right?" Yes, I agree with that statement but does a friend try to get in your way when you are planning\going on a date\outing with another male acquaintance? A friend also doesn't call you and check on you. A friend doesn't call you every single bloody day. And definitely a friend doesn't invite you over to sleep in a same bed with him\her when you have a bed of your own! There's no ego thing going on here because it's just not something that a normal friend would do. Hemust have been is such an ignoramus to ask in front of my friends and then to think it was ego. How dumb can one be?
This kind of ex(es) are just plain annoying. Why can't they understand? What can we all do to get them to fuck off?
I told my buddy what I thought. Yes, I was the bitch to tell him that he annoying the shit out of his ex. And if he don't know how to draw the line, his ex will just be like me. I'm not sorry that I told him that, I don't feel guilty by telling him that. It's the truth and he has to hear it from someone.
to have a heart to heart talk. He broke up with his (at that time) girlfriend for about 3 months already. The problem is, he can't let go of her.
He really reminded me of my ex. You see, we were once so close. We know of each others doings, actions and plans every god damn single day. We talk to each other without fail every bloody night before we actually go to sleep. We do things together, go on holidays together, have luncheons and dinner together and all the other stuff a normal couple would do. But then suddenly all this changes when we broke up.
No more nightly 'obligation' to call your other half. No need to 'report to the headmaster' (headmaster here refers to your other half) every action you are planning to do. No need to think of how your other half would feel if you wanted to hang out alone or with your own friends without his presence. Don't need to sacrifice time to teach your idiotic other half his work and definitely don't have to take any more responsibility of his stupidity and failure. Don't you feel much better with all that burden off your shoulders? It's no wonder why it didn't take me long to get on with my sweet life.
The big question is "Why can't your ex(es) do the same?" I don't think
Anyway, I don't think my buddy and my ex understand the meaning of a "breakup". I know were all very close to our other half during the relationship, but why can't they understand that it's over.
Sometimes they would just give really lame excuses like "we are not a couple anymore but we are still friends right?" Yes, I agree with that statement but does a friend try to get in your way when you are planning\going on a date\outing with another male acquaintance? A friend also doesn't call you and check on you. A friend doesn't call you every single bloody day. And definitely a friend doesn't invite you over to sleep in a same bed with him\her when you have a bed of your own! There's no ego thing going on here because it's just not something that a normal friend would do. He
This kind of ex(es) are just plain annoying. Why can't they understand? What can we all do to get them to fuck off?
I told my buddy what I thought. Yes, I was the bitch to tell him that he annoying the shit out of his ex. And if he don't know how to draw the line, his ex will just be like me. I'm not sorry that I told him that, I don't feel guilty by telling him that. It's the truth and he has to hear it from someone.
Monday, May 09, 2005
when the world knows about your personal blog
It's so damn sad when everyone knows that you have a personal blog. Every god damn Tom, Dick and Harry would ask your link. And if the URL do not come out from your very own mouth, they will go high and low searching for it.
Leaving bits and trail of information on IM profiles are very dangerous. Once, there was this really annoying dude that looked though all my IM details to get hints of my blog. And darnnn, he found it. Once upon a time I used to tell the whole world about it. But now it's so damn hard to clean up my own shits.
Some tried searching for my nick, for my name, and stuff like that. And yeah, it's so god damn easy with search engines these days.
Some tries looking through blogger networks and blog rings. I have blogger friends, where we enjoy reading each others blog (but the idea of meeting each other was a negative, sometimes it's just best not to 'know' each other in person) and link each other. Well, when I link you, and you link me, some how we all get noticed in some way.
Well having too much publicity is not too bad, but having too much publicity amoung people who knows you (and not necessary you know them) is really bad. You'll never know whose tail you might step on or which organization might sue you.
Sometimes when I blog my ideas, my analysis, my shits, some people....even the closest to you... would just steal them call them of as their own ideas and evaluation. Sometimes they just do it right in front of my face. That's just hurtful man, but seriously, I don't think I would care more after that. You are just insulting your own intellegence anyway.
I don't think I am being sensitive about this kind of things. It's plagiarizing my thoughts. You steal them, you announce to the whole world that it was your own (and yes, the world believed it was your idea because I was stupid enough just to tell you and not the world), you implement it, too bad you failed.
I was keen so carry out my idea at first. But then, narrrrr. I don't think I have got the 'umph' anymore. I'm so sad at see you fail, but a part of me is laughing at you. So sorry, but haha. I guess I'm this kind of person. I guess I'm just a two faced snake in the end. But hey, I guess you thought me that right. After all, I only learn from what I see.
The rest that aren't smart to take idea off my blog are just plain annoying stalkers. Saying "Hey I read your post on ...bla bla" to strike a conversation every morning is plain boring. Don't you have something more intelligent to say? I wonder if the words 'Good Morning' registers in your brain.
I just can't stand these people. If talking to you every morning isn't good enough, they have to call, sms and email you. And they questions they ask.... It's a waste if they don't be interviewers, reporters and interrogators. Yeeasss.
Leaving bits and trail of information on IM profiles are very dangerous. Once, there was this really annoying dude that looked though all my IM details to get hints of my blog. And darnnn, he found it. Once upon a time I used to tell the whole world about it. But now it's so damn hard to clean up my own shits.
Some tried searching for my nick, for my name, and stuff like that. And yeah, it's so god damn easy with search engines these days.
Some tries looking through blogger networks and blog rings. I have blogger friends, where we enjoy reading each others blog (but the idea of meeting each other was a negative, sometimes it's just best not to 'know' each other in person) and link each other. Well, when I link you, and you link me, some how we all get noticed in some way.
Well having too much publicity is not too bad, but having too much publicity amoung people who knows you (and not necessary you know them) is really bad. You'll never know whose tail you might step on or which organization might sue you.
Sometimes when I blog my ideas, my analysis, my shits, some people....even the closest to you... would just steal them call them of as their own ideas and evaluation. Sometimes they just do it right in front of my face. That's just hurtful man, but seriously, I don't think I would care more after that. You are just insulting your own intellegence anyway.
I don't think I am being sensitive about this kind of things. It's plagiarizing my thoughts. You steal them, you announce to the whole world that it was your own (and yes, the world believed it was your idea because I was stupid enough just to tell you and not the world), you implement it, too bad you failed.
I was keen so carry out my idea at first. But then, narrrrr. I don't think I have got the 'umph' anymore. I'm so sad at see you fail, but a part of me is laughing at you. So sorry, but haha. I guess I'm this kind of person. I guess I'm just a two faced snake in the end. But hey, I guess you thought me that right. After all, I only learn from what I see.
The rest that aren't smart to take idea off my blog are just plain annoying stalkers. Saying "Hey I read your post on ...bla bla" to strike a conversation every morning is plain boring. Don't you have something more intelligent to say? I wonder if the words 'Good Morning' registers in your brain.
I just can't stand these people. If talking to you every morning isn't good enough, they have to call, sms and email you. And they questions they ask.... It's a waste if they don't be interviewers, reporters and interrogators. Yeeasss.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Does Your Sex Drive Need a Boost?
Did you know that the average person has sex only once a week? Surprised? When was the last time you were really in the mood? Take this 10-question quiz to find out if your sexual batteries need a boost. You might be surprised at your results!
Go here http://quiz.ivillage.com/health/tests/sexdrive.htm
Go here http://quiz.ivillage.com/health/tests/sexdrive.htm
Monday, May 02, 2005
Do Men Value Virginity Anymore?
By Andy Erdman writen at IVillage.
Andy Erdman is a journalist and television writer. He also has a Ph.D. in theatre and has taught at the college level. He has never worked as a topless dancer.
I can understand a woman being sincerely committed to the idea of not sleeping with a man unless she's engaged to be married. Really, I can respect that. (Though I personally don't think it's a good idea; imagine refusing to drive until a Maserati came along!)
Of course no one should settle for Mr. Okay with a smooth line. But that doesn't mean you should shy away from every guy who doesn't instantly proffer a marriage proposal. My advice to women who aren't sure if they should hold out or not: Find someone in whom you're adequately interested and get to know him. If you like him, and he likes you, things will more or less take care of themselves -- i.e., devirgination, ring giving, etc. I'm sure there's more than one Mr. Right out there, but you have to familiarize yourself with the crop in order to sort the proverbial wheat from the proverbial sleazebags.
As for whether a man would appreciate your remarkable self-control, I'm -- get ready for this -- not sure it really matters. Sure, some guy might think it's swell that you're a virgin, but he may think so for all the wrong reasons (e.g., archaic notions of "owning" one's woman, etc.).
If you're curious about and desirous of the act of nook-nook, then find someone you like and feel comfortable with, and get down. Don't worry so much about what the future Mr. Right or Mr. Okay might think. Your virginity is not a prize to present to someone else; it's yours to manage in your own best interest.
Andy Erdman is a journalist and television writer. He also has a Ph.D. in theatre and has taught at the college level. He has never worked as a topless dancer.
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